2012 John Lewis Christmas Advert: As Christmassy as a Shit in the Bath

2012 John Lewis Christmas Advert: As Christmassy as a Shit in the Bath

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So, it’s that time of year again; when everyone gets overly excited about another ‘samey’ John lewis ad and screams and shouts about how it has wonderfully captured the spirit of Christmas and instilled it in everyone – HALLELUJAH! It’s something like year 5 of these adverts now, I stopped counting after the last couple and quite frankly, they are getting really really boring.

Spending £6 million (yes, 6 million pounds!) to develop another advert depicting a ‘classic Christmas scene’ involving too much snow and an old plinky-plonky classic covered by some woman with a piano (really, ‘the power of love’?!) just seems dull. I was greeted by multiple posts of ‘John Lewis have done it again…’, ‘OMG snowman love’ and ‘I <3 snow', as well as other inane crap filling up my Facebook feed this morning, only then did I realise that it was that time of year again; it's 'John Lewis season'.

John Lewis Christmas Advert 2012

Now, John Lewis have been doing really well over the last couple of years, reeling in great revenue figures in a prolonged period of economic depression. Before you say it, I’m not bitter at all; I’m fully in support of errr Mr. Lewis. But seriously, is this just how uncreative we need to be with advertising these days to get every mother, father and child (who, is probably entirely against the notion) to rush to John Lewis with awe in their eyes and their wallets open? Screw it, next year why not get Santa himself in, fire him out of a giant present cannon and piss Christmas in the face of the whole country, while Adele is playing a plinky-plonky version of a Chris de Burgh ‘classic’ and yodelling away in the background.

Although I’d strongly warn you from it, here’s the Christmassy shit-storm to see for yourself…

How the John Lewis Christmas Advert 2012 Could be Improved:

I’m more than a bit bored of this now, although I work in digital marketing and therefore I’m meant to ‘understand’ the message they’re trying to get across. So, after constructing a somewhat critical analysis of the new John Lewis Christmas advert, I’ve provided some recommendations of how I would improve it below:

    1. A kid running in and knocking the head off the snowman at the end, or, at any time during the advert

    2. A dog urinating on either snowman/woman at any point during the advert
    3. The advert to run as it does in entirety but the snowman to have a snow penis and the snowoman to have snow boobs (see below)

John Lewis The Journey

    4. My personal favourite: The sun coming out (as it tends to at Christmas in the UK these days) and them both melting like the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Some love story now John…

Don’t get me wrong either, I’m Christmas’s number 1 fan. Seriously, I love Christmas it’s one of my favourite times of the year, but this time next year please; please, please, please, let me get what I want this time…